


Lincoln's Twin Brother

by TimothyD



Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, JoJo References, References to other Fanfics, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2019-10-11 07:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17442149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimothyD/pseuds/TimothyD
Summary: This is basically a fanfic I wrote where Lincoln has a twin brother named Lio. One night, while sneaking out, Lio has an encounter with one of his sisters and finds out that The Louds' resident clown isn't as happy as she makes herself out to be.Contains references to other fanfics and many references to JoJo's Bizarre Adventures.My first Loud House fanfic, please be kind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I recently became a fan of The Loud House. By far, my favorite character in the show is Luan (even when she's April Fools psychotic). What can I say? I have a huge weakness for jokes and puns. Anyway, I recently thought up a Loud House OC by the name of Lio Loud. He's the family otaku, being a huge fan of anime and manga as well as an aspiring mangaka. In terms of appearance, he looks identical to Lincoln, except his hair is modeled after Yoshikage Kira's (to get an idea of what it looks like, search up "Matured Kira" on google. This fanfic contains references to other fanfictions, specifically "The Whole Picture (Continuation)" and "Luan: A Loud House Tale". They say the people who are the funniest are usually the most depressed so I decided to explore this concept with Luan. I kinda wrote this for myself for comfort and relaxation before deciding to share it. If you're reading this, I hope you enjoy and apologise as my writing isn't the best.

It was an early Saturday morning at the Loud House when Lincoln heard someone shuffling around in his room. Turning on the light, Lincoln saw his twin brother, Lio, scrambling to throw on some clothes. His hair was a bit damp, giving Lincoln the impression that he had just recently taken a shower. As it was 4 o clock in the morning, Lincoln was confused as to why Lio was up and about.

  
“Lio? What're you doing?” Lincoln asked in a whisper so as not to awaken the pair's sisters. “Why are you up so early?”

  
“The comic shop's opening in an hour and the latest compiled colour volume of JoJolion comes out today” Lio informed him. “Rather than go through the usual morning antics that happens every Saturday, I decided to get a head start and take a shower early. That way, I can avoid the chaos and get my copy of Volume 20 before they sell out.”

  
Yawning, Lincoln turned to the reader and said “When it comes to our interests, Lio & I are pretty similar. However, while I prefer comics, he prefers manga and anime. JoJo, obviously is his favorite, to the point where even his hair is styled after his favorite anime villain”

  
“Now, all I've got to do is avoid 10 sisters and I'll be home free” Lio said, turning to the reader and adding “Since it's early, I think I'll get a headstart and head down to the comic shop and get back before anyone even notices I'm gone.” Lio threw on his red Edward Elric esque longcoat/ hood.

  
“Good luck” Lincoln said before turning off the light and heading back to sleep.

  
Lio made his way down the stairs and was reaching for the front door when he heard a sniffle. For a moment, Lio wondered if he'd been caught and thus he froze in his place. If Mom caught him sneaking out at this hour, he'd be grounded for at least a month. He slowly turned around, expecting to see one or both of his parents standing in front of him. Instead, he saw no one and heard nothing but almost eerie silence. Keyword being ‘almost'. Coming from the living room, Lio could hear that the TV was on. As he expected himself to be the only person awake, this caught him off guard. Still, Lio thought nothing of it and reached for the door once again… until he heard what sounded like faint sobbing coming from the living room. One of Lio's weaknesses was that he couldn't ignore anyone who was crying as he hated seeing someone sad; it was a weakness that all of his sisters and even his twin had exploited at some point or another. Lio tried blocking out the sound of soft sobbing so that he could go collect his manga, but found that he just couldn't. He peaked his head inside the living room where he saw his normally perky older sister, Luan, sitting on the couch with her knees up to her chest, crying her eyes out.

  
Like everyone else in the Loud Family, Lio was used to seeing Luan cracking jokes, making puns, or pulling harmless pranks (unless it was April Fools Day, in which case, Lio took refuge at the local bookstore until the day was over). She was seemingly always happy, which is why Lio was freaked out to see her sobbing like this. He slowly tiptoed over to Luan and placed his hand on her shoulder, asking “Luan, is everything alright? What’s wrong?”

  
Luan looked over to him, her eyes red and wet from crying, before she looked away as if she were ashamed, saying “Everything's fine. I was just watching a movie and I got a little emotional”

  
Lio could tell that she was lying and said “We both know that that's not true. What’s bothering you?”

  
“You wouldn't understand,” Luan insisted, keeping her back turned to Lio.

  
“I could try” Lio offered. “Even if you don’t think I'll understand, I can still be someone you can confide in.”

There were a few moments of silence before Luan asked “Do you find me obnoxious?”

  
“Why would I find you obnoxious?” Lio asked, the question unintentionally flashing him back to that brief period where Luan considered giving up comedy after overhearing her siblings calling her and her comedy annoying. Lio still felt a bit guilty about the whole ordeal, but had pushed it out of his head, thinking that everything had been resolved.

  
“Because… everyone else seems to think so,” Luan told him. “I'm just the annoying sister who makes a fool out of herself.”

  
“I don’t think you're obnoxious,” Lio replied. “I actually think you're funny”

  
“You're the only one who does,” Luan said sadly. “Everyone else would probably ditch me in heartbeat if they had the chance. And even if they wouldn’t, you'd probably all still be happier if I was gone.”

  
“No. No! NO!” Lio whispered to avoid waking up the rest of the house. “I don’t know where you're getting these ideas, but you couldn’t be more wrong! How long have you felt this way?”

  
“For a few months now,” Luan admitted. “At first, it didn’t really bother me. But then I started to notice how miserable I seemed to make everyone. How my puns only elicit groans, how my jokes only annoy everyone, and how unhappy my pranks make everyone. I began seeing just how useless I was. It started driving me crazy to the point where I even thought about running away from home a couple times, figuring that no one would miss me.”

  
“Please, please don’t do that,” Lio pleaded with her. “I speak for everyone when I say that we'd be torn apart without you. We'd miss you terribly and personally, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I didn’t know what had happened to you.”

  
“Really?” Luan asked, genuinely doubting Lio's claims.

  
“Of course,” Lio said. “You're my sister, we're family. Even if I did find you annoying, it would take a lot more than that for me to up and abandon you. It's honestly a but scary to see you like this and to hear you thinking this way. You're normally seem so chipper and joyful.”  
“That’s what I want you all to think when in truth, I'm not as strong as you may think I am” Luan said. “That’s the reason I came downstairs in the first place, I didn’t want anyone to see me like this, so pathetic.”

  
“You're not pathetic,” Lio told her. “I'm curious as to where all this is coming from and why you've been bottling it up all this time”

  
Luan sighed and said “This might sound weird to you, but I've never really had anyone to talk to. Lori and Leni were always close being the oldest and despite sharing a room with her, Luna and I have never been particularly close with her focusing on music. I've never really had anyone to talk to. That’s why I turned to comedy, both for my own comfort and so that I could bring comfort and joy to others.”

  
“I think I know what you're going through,” Lio said. “You may not believe me when I say this, but I completely understand; because believe it or not, Lincoln and I aren’t the closest either even though we're twins and the only boys in the family. He has a closer connection with Clyde than with me.”

  
“I never knew that,” Luan said.

  
“Yeah, it's true that we don’t argue that much, but I've never been able to talk to Lincoln when I'm feeling down,” Lio told her. “And since I was rather shy while Lincoln was the more extroverted of the two of us, I've never had friends of my own that I could confide in. Just like how you turned to comedy for your escape, I turned to anime and manga. It's why I aspire to be a mangaka so that I'll always have an outlet for my anxiety and depression and maybe, just maybe, I'll inspire someone else.”

  
“I'm so sorry!” Luan suddenly apologized as she started crying once again. “I know I’m being so selfish right now having a pity party and everything”

  
“No, no, it's fine!” Lio assured her. “It's for the best that you let this out rather than bottle it up inside. I'm just telling you this to let you know that I can relate. The loneliness, the anxiety, feeling as if everyone hates me. I've been there before. I know exactly how it feels. It's terrible. That's why I want to be someone that you can talk to so that you never have to feel that way again.”

  
Luan wrapped her arms around Lio and proceeded to cry as softly as she could into his shoulder. Lio didn’t push her away or recoil and attempt to pull away. Rather, he reciprocated the hug and allowed her to cry on his shoulder. And cry she did, letting out every negative thought that had plagued her mind and every instance of self consciousness. After another five minutes of crying, Luan composed herself, saying “Thank you. Thank you so much.” She then noticed Lio's coat was soaking wet with her tears and apologized. “Sorry about ruining your jacket.”

  
“It's okay, really” Lio insisted. “I just want you to be okay”

  
“I don't know how I could ever repay you,” Luan told him. She was surprised by his response.

  
“You already have” Lio told her, prompting Luan to reply “Huh?”

  
“Let me explain,” Lio said. “You called yourself useless, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Do you remember Lincoln and I's first day of school? When Lincoln and I came home crying because the other kids picked on us because of our white hair? You were the first one to comfort us, telling the two of us that our hair didn’t make us weird and that we were the coolest boys you knew. You even told us a few jokes to cheer us up.”

  
Luan remembered that event as she had it on videotape. She didn’t expect Lio to remember that day as it happened so long ago. Incidentally, it was that day that also spurred Luan's desire to improve her comedy so that she could always cheer up her younger siblings. “I'm surprised you even remember that day. At the time I was just really starting out in comedy, seeing you two so torn apart was what motivated me to get better.”

  
“How could I not remember that day, it's one of the fondest memories I have,” Lio revealed. “And that's not the only time you've helped me out when I had a tough day…”

  
“ _You are the worst brother ever!” An 8 year Lio shouted at Lincoln as the two were escorted inside the house by their mother. “How could you do this to me!?”_

  
_“It was just a joke! I didn’t expect it to go the way it did” Lincoln defended himself._

  
_“I'm never talking to you again!” Lio declared._

  
_“Fine by me, drama queen!” Lincoln replied. The two twins huffed and turned their backs to each other, crossing their arms._

  
_“That's enough, both of you!” Rita scolded the twins._

  
_“But mom” They both said._

  
_“No buts,” Rita said. “Now Lincoln, I think you owe your brother an apology”_

  
_“What's going on?” Luan asked, peeking her head out of the living room._

  
_“Apparently, your brother, Lincoln, thought it would be funny to release all of the mice that the school's biology class were planning on dissecting,” Rita told her. “The mice ran amok and Lincoln was caught on camera setting them loose. Since he and Lio are identical twins, the principal couldn't tell which one of them was actually responsible so he suspended both boys for three days.”_

  
_“It's not fair!” Lio shouted angrily, tears trickling down his face. “How come I have to be punished for something HE did?! I didn’t even do anything!” Lio then ran up the stairs to his and Lincoln's room, slamming the door behind him, ignoring his mother as she called for him, trying to calm him down._

  
_“Hmm, let me go see if I can maybe cheer him up” Luan said to her mom before following Lio upstairs. She gently knocked on the door, only to hear Lio say “Go away, Lincoln. I'm not in the mood”_

  
_Luan opened the door to see Lio lying on the bed, his face buried in the pillow. “You going to be alright, Lio?”_

  
_“No!” Lio said angrily. “I'm tired of always getting mixed up with Lincoln or people thinking that we're the exact same just because we look alike. It's so frustrating! It's even worse whenever I get blamed for something that he did.”_

  
_“I can imagine so” Luan said, sympathizing with Lio. “I'm sure Lincoln didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”_

  
_“I just wish that there was something I could do so that everyone wouldn’t mistake us for one another”_

  
_“Maybe there is” Luan suggested._

  
_“How?” Lio asked._

  
_“You could maybe change up your hairstyle or change the way you dress” Luan suggested. “Something that would make you stand out from Lincoln.”_

  
_“Change up my hair?” Lio asked. “But how should I change it up? I don't want to look too crazy; I just want to look different from Lincoln.”_

  
_“That's for you to decide,” Luan told him. “You can make your hair look however you want. Maybe you can change it up so that it looks like your favorite character from those Japanese comics you always read.”_

  
_“Like my favorite character?” Lio wondered, thinking for a few seconds before saying “Luan, you're a genius!” He then asked “You wouldn’t happen to have any hair dye, would you?”_

  
_“As a matter of fact I do” Luan said, handing Lio a bottle of black hair dye. “You never know when the perfect opportunity to prank Lori or Leni may come up”_

  
_“I'll be back in a few minutes” Lio said, rushing to the bathroom to change up his hair. A few minutes later, he emerged with a completely new hairstyle. His hair was now perfectly combed back, but rather than being all white as it had originally been, it was striped with black strands. In a way, it resembled an inverse oreo. Lio then returned to Luan, asking “How do I look?”_

  
_“You look awesome!” Luan told him. “That'll definitely help you stand out.”_

  
_It was at that moment that Lincoln came upstairs, saying “Listen, Lio, I'm really sorry about- whoa, what happened to your hair?”_  
_“At Luan's advice, I decided to change up my hairstyle so that we no longer look alike” Lio told him. “Now, no one else will ever mistake me for you again.”_

  
“It's because of you that I have the sick hairstyle I'm still rocking today,” Lio said happily, running his hand through his hair. “I owe it all to you. And those two examples aren’t the only thing I thank you for.”

  
“Remember how earlier I mentioned that I could relate to what you're feeling and how I said that you've already repaid me?” Lio asked. Luan nodded her head. “Part of what helped me through those bad days was you. Whenever I was down, I'd always hang around you because your jokes always made me laugh to the point where I'd forget what was upsetting me. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know how I would've made it through those depressive episodes. There are still days when I'll hang around you when I feel like I can’t go on because you make me laugh. I meant what I said when I said I thought that you were funny. Out of all of my siblings, you're the one I'd say I'm closest to because I can always turn to you. Whether it's to cheer me up or for advice.”

  
Luan started tearing up again, although this time they were tears of joy. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Lio in another hug. “You have no idea how much I needed this!”

  
“No problem” Lio said.

  
Luan then glanced at the clock and said “It's 5 AM, aren’t you going to head to the comic shop so you can get the latest JoJolion volume before they're sold out?”

  
“How did you?” Lio asked.

  
“I overheard you and Lincoln talking,” Luan answered. “You're going to be late if you stick around”

  
“Meh, I can always read it online,” Lio replied. “Family is so much more important. Are you going to be okay?”

  
“I'll be okay,” Luan said. “Thank you again”

  
“We've still got a few hours to kill before the others wake up, let's see what’s on TV” Lio said, grabbing the remote. Even if Luan was going to be okay, Lio wanted to stick around just in case. When Luan mentioned that she thought of running away from home, it scared him to his core. He didn’t know how he'd be able to cope if he lost one of his siblings. It made him realize that he took his family for granted. That'd be a mistake he'd never make again. The two found a reality TV show and decided to watch that.

  
“Hey, did you hear that 19 and 20 got into a fight?” Luan asked midway through. “21”

  
Lio laughed and smiled. It was good to hear Luan joking again. “Promise me you'll never leave us”

  
“Little Brother, I promise you that I'm not going anywhere” Luan vowed.

* * *

  
A few hours later, the Loud House was hectic as the siblings awoke. Soon, they were all partaking in their favorite activities, with Lori talking to Bobby, Luna writing new music, Leni talking to her friends, Lana playing in mud, Lynn making a new sport, etc.

  
“Hey, did you manage to get your manga?” Lincoln asked Lio as he stripped down to his underwear to read his comic books.

  
“Nah, something more important came up,” Lio said, working on his own manga, entitled Tokyo Planet Outlaw. “I can always read JoJolion online, it's no big deal.”

  
“Whatcha working on?” Lincoln asked.

  
“The latest chapter of Tokyo Planet Outlaw” Lio told him. “The theme of this chapter is family and how you should never take them for granted because you never know when they could be gone.”

  
“Sounds like it'll be great,” Lincoln said. “Can’t wait to read it when you're finished.”

  
“Trust me, I think you’ll love it” Lio said as he sketched a panel showing a ponytailed heroine coming to the aid of the protagonist right when he needed it the most. Later that day, Lio returned to his room, where he found something lying on his bed. Picking it up, Lio saw that it was Volume 20 of JoJolion in full colour. It didn't take much thought for him to figure out who it was from. With a smile on his face, Lio lied back so he could read the latest in the Joestars' bizarre adventures.


	2. Lio Loud Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lio tries to say "no" to his siblings so he can catch his favorite TV show.

"Friday once again, it feels like it took forever to get here," Lio said as he looked at the calendar. He then turned to the reader and said "You might be confused so let me explain. Every Friday at 7pm, my favorite TV show, Celeste, airs a new episode. It's based on one of my favorite video games and the protagonist is incredibly relatable. It took weeks of diplomatic negotiations to secure the TV at the time, but it was all worth it. All I've got to do is be in front of the TV before 7 and I'll be home free. Since it's 3 right now, I have 4 hours to get ready. I'd better go get my snacks ready."

Before Lio could get the chance however, Lio was approached his younger sister, Lisa. "Lio, real quick, do you have a minute or two?" She asked.

Thinking nothing of it, Lio said "Sure. What do you need?"

"I'm on the cusp of a major scientific breakthrough and I need a test subject for my latest experiment," Lisa told him. "I asked Lincoln, but he said "no". Apparently, he's still bitter about the last experiment; in my defense, nobody could've foreseen him growing a tail as a result."

"I thought Mom and Dad forbid you from using your siblings as experimental guinea pigs anymore," Lio reminded her, flashing back to that experiment with Lincoln. Never had he felt more sorry for his twin.

"What Mom and Dad don't know won't hurt them," Lisa argued. "Please, I really need to test this out. This could be the most important experiment I've conducted. I promise this won't leave you horribly maimed or crippled."

"Oh, alright, but we've got to make this quick" Lio agreed. "Celeste comes on in a few hours and I simply CANNOT afford to miss this episode."

"This'll only take a few minutes, I promise you," Lisa assured him, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him towards her and Lily's room. Once they were there, Lisa handed Lio a waiver and a pen, telling him "Before we get started, I really need you to sign this."

"I thought you said this experiment wasn't going to leave me horribly maimed of crippled?" Lio replied, nonetheless signing the waiver.

"It won't," Lisa insisted, taking the waiver from Lio's hands. "Or at least it shouldn't. You should be perfectly safe" Lisa then handed Lio a vial containing a mysterious blue liquid. "Now, drink this and stand over there" She pointed to the other side of the room.

"Mmm, kinda tastes like blueberries" Lio observed as he stood on the other side of the room.

"Now, just stand still," Lisa ordered him before pulling out a green device that resembled a ray gun and aiming it at him. Lio was already starting to regret saying yes to Lisa. Still, if this was all Lisa required before allowing him to continue with his preparations, then so be it. "Now, you may feel a slight stinging sensation, but I assure that that is perfectly normal."

"The things I do for love," Lio muttered before Lisa zapped him. It only lasted a single second and true to Lisa's word, Lio only felt a brief slight stinging sensation. "Huh, that was it? That was easier than I expected" It was only then that Lio realized that he was floating a few centimeters off of the ground. "OH MY DIO, WHY AM I FLOATING?!"

"Calm down," Lisa said. "This simply means my experiment was a success! I've managed to discover a way to induce zero gravity!"

"Oh, so this was supposed to happen?" Lio asked as he tried to plant his feet on solid ground to no avail. "Cool. This is kinda neat, I suppose. Now can you give me back my gravity so that I don't float away?"

"No need, the effects of this gravity gun will wear off in anywhere from 10 minutes to a half an hour" Lisa told him.

"Phew, that's good to hear" Lio said, wiping sweat from his forehead when all of a sudden his right hand started to turn inside out in a gruesome fashion, causing him to panic. "What's happening to my hand!? Uh Lisa… was this supposed to happen?"

"Oh dear, this would appear to be an unforeseen side effect," Lisa said, scrambling to look over her notes. "It would appear that the gravity gun somehow inverted the gravitational forces acting upon your body, causing you to turn inside out"

"Well hurry up and do something, this is starting to get freaky!" Lio shouted as his entire right arm turned inside out, exposing the muscle underneath, causing him to freak out even more. "OH NO!"

"Hang on" Lisa said, grabbing the gravity gun. "Perhaps a second blast from the gravity gun will undo the initial effects and turn you back to normal."

"Shoot me! Shoot me!" Lio yelled as his left hand started to turn inside out. "Do whatever you have to, just turn me back to normal!" Lisa obliged and blasted him a second time with the gravity gun. Rather than revert back to normal however, Lio instead started floating even higher off the ground and towards the ceiling. "I knew I should've just said "no"" Lio thought to himself. Much to his relief, Lisa's hunch was correct and his left hand turned right side up followed shortly afterwards by his right arm.

"I guess I need to make some alterations to the gravity gun," Lisa said. "Rest assured Lio, next time we try out the gravity gun, the results won't be as squicky."

"That's great, but now I'm stuck up here" Lio said. "What am I going to do now?"

"As I said before, the gravity gun's effects should wear off after 10 to 30 minutes," Lisa said before tossing a notebook and a pen up at Lio. "In the meantime, write down if the zero gravity has any other adverse effects on your body such as if it affects your bladder in anyway."

30 minutes later, Lio was back on solid ground. Never again would he take gravity for granted. Lio made a mental note to steer clear of Lisa and her experiments in the near future. Only 3 and a half hours until the premiere of the new episode of Celeste. Now that that was over, Lio could get down to preparing his snacks. At least, until another sister caught him.

"Yo, Lio, you got a minute?" Lynn asked him, tossing a football at him.

"What can I help you with?" Lio asked.

"I need a partner that I can practice football with," Lynn informed him. "We've got a huge game this week and I need all the practice I can get."

Lio glanced at the clock again and thought to himself "I've got plenty of time, I can spare a few minutes for Lynn." Lio then turned to Lynn and said "Sure, I've got some time to spare. Let's go!"

Lio and Lynn head out to the backyard, pigskin in hand. "Alright, I need to work on my defense so I'll kick the ball off to you first" Lynn said. "Try to get to the other end of the yard by getting past me. You've got four tries to do so."

"Hmm, sounds easy enough" Lio said, only for Lynn to reply "You say that now, but you have no idea who you're dealing with." Lynn then kicked the ball off to Lio, who caught it with ease and ran full speed ahead. He made it 2 feet before Lynn flattened him, knocking him for a loop.

"Did anyone get the number of that road roller?" Lio asked, seeing stars swirling around his head. He slowly stumbled back onto his feet, a bit dizzy from being knocked to the ground so hard. He shook his head quickly to recover as his own competitive side took over. Against his better judgment, he taunted Lynn, shouting at her "Is that the best you've got?"

"Oh, believe me, I'm just getting started" Lynn replied. "Care to try again or did I hit you too hard for you to stand?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Lio said, getting into position to make his next play. "All you did was give me a light love tap and you think that's enough to make me say "uncle"? It's going to take a lot more than that to get me to throw in the towel." Lio looked Lynn in the eyes before saying "Go!" and snapping the ball to himself. He leaped to the left, dodging Lynn's attempt to tackle him with a pounce. Lio made a mad sprint for the other side of the yard and to his credit, he made it halfway there to the point where he actually thought he'd make the touchdown.

"Not so fast, Little Bro!" Lynn said, easily catching up to Lio and grabbing him by his ankles, bringing him down to the ground. "Hope you didn't think you could pull a fast one on me. I'm as quick as I am strong! You have two more attempts to get a touchdown. Unless you want to turn the ball over now, that is."

"There is no way I am giving up," Lio declared confidently before thinking to himself "Now if I was the protagonist in a sports manga such Slam Dunk or Hajime no Ippo, what would I do to come out victorious in this situation. Perhaps I can keep Lynn from catching me by running in a zig zag pattern so that she has more difficulty catching me. It's not much of a strategy, but it might be practical enough to work. After all, on the last drive, I made it almost halfway to the goal before being tackled. Alternatively, I could throw the ball into the air and catch my own throw for a victory. Alright then, it's been decided, I know what I must do."

"Hello, Lio, are you there?" Lynn called out to him. "You're staring off into deep space, are you going to make your move or not?"

"Aren't we eager for someone who's about to bite my dust," Lio replied, cracking a smile as he got into position to make his next play. "I am determined not to lose so prepare yourself because this is the drive where I claim sweet victory!"

"We'll seem about that," Lynn said, fiercely determined not to let Lio score a touchdown.

"Go!" Lio said, taking a step back for throwing the ball into the air. He juked an attempted tackle from Lynn and ran forward to catch his own throw. He turned around and leapt into the air, reaching him arm out to complete the catch and ensure himself the win. Unfortunately for Lio, Lynn was right in front of him and she brought him down to the ground before he could make the catch.

"Nice try, but you're going to have to wake up pretty early if you want that trick to work on me," Lynn said.

"I knew I should've gone with the zig zag" Lio thought to himself as he picked himself up off the ground once again.

"Alright Lio, you've got one last try to get to the other end of the yard, then it's my turn" Lynn said.

"Okay, time to stop playing nice," Lio remarked, crouching down before saying "Go!" and making a mad dash for the end goal. He didn't expect to make it all the way, but much to his surprise, he actually made it. "Oh yeah! Who's the man? I'm the Man!" He took the time to celebrate.

"You do realize you only made it as far as you did because I let you, right?" Lynn pointed out, causing Lio to reply "Don't ruin this for me." Before continuing his celebration.

"Alright, now it's my turn," Lynn said. "Kick the ball off to me and let me show you how it's done"

Lio obliged and kicked the ball off to Lynn. "Okay, now all I have to do is make sure she doesn't make it past me, sounds easy enou-'" Lio said to himself before attempting to block Lynn from getting to the other side of the yard. For his troubles, Lio was knocked aside and onto the ground by a charging Lynn, leaving him dazed. "Why did I agree to this again?"

"And that's how it's done," Lynn said as she made it all the way. She reached down and helped Lio up off the ground. "I hope I didn't knock you around too bad."

"Heheh, I'm fine" Lio said, clutching his shoulder.

"Thanks for your help," Lynn said. "After that practice session, I feel like I'm more than ready for the big game! Catch you later!"

Lio barely had time to get himself together before another sister approached him. "Hey Lio!" said Lana. "There's a freshly made mud puddle with my name on it and I'm in the mood for some mud wrestling. Care to join me?"

Lio shrugged his shoulders and said "Sure, let's do this. Besides, I'm seeking a little retribution after our last bout"

"Great!" Lana said, leading Lio to the mud puddle. "I hope you're ready to go down!"

"Oh please, last time you just got luck-'" Lio said before Lana pounced on him and drove him into the mud puddle, saying "First rule of mud wrestling, talking is NOT a free action!"

Lana drove Lio face first into the mud, holding his head down. Lio fought back, grabbing Lana by her shoulders and rolling her over onto her back. As she was one of his younger sisters, Lio took great caution to avoid hurting her. That was a big mistake on Lio's part as Lana had no such scruples. She used her legs to hurricanrana Lio onto his back and smear his face with mud.

Lana tried transitioning into a sleeper hold, but Lio shook her off and rolled around for several seconds, getting both siblings covered in mud. Lio tried to pin Lana and hold her down to claim victory only for Lana to use her legs to push him off. Lio fell on his back and when Lana got close, he used his legs to lock her in an armbar.

"Oh, so you've got some fight left in you?" Lana said. "I like that in an opponent. Let's go!" Lana then slipped out of the armbar and picked Lio up off of the ground in a power bomb position. She then slammed Lio onto the ground, leaving him stunned for a few seconds. Lio was thankful that he was slammed into something soft like mud otherwise he'd be in a lot more pain right now. Lio decided to stop going easy and slammed Lana onto the ground with a belly to belly suplex. He then put Lana into a sleeper hold, intending to make her submit. Unfortunately for him, Lana decided to get out of the submission by biting his arm.

"Ow! Did you just bite me?" Lio asked, grabbing his arm and caressing where he'd been bit.

"Sorry Big Bro, but you know that when it comes to mud wrestling, you know I don't play fair" Lana told him.

"I guess it's safe to say that you fight dirty" Lio joked, prompting Lana to groan and say "Leave the puns to Luan" before she grabbed Lio by his waist and flipped him over onto the ground on his head with a German suplex. Lio rolled through and tripped up a charging Lana before holding her face down in the mud, a little payback from earlier.

Lana once again wriggled out and proceeded to lock Lio into an STF, wrenching the hold in. It didn't take long for Lio to submit. "Ow! Uncle! Uncle!" Lio cried, tapping out.

"Your winner and still the mud wrestling champion OF THE WORLD: Lana Loud!" Lana yelled, celebrating her victory as she let Lio go. "Thanks Lio! That was fun!"

"No problem," Lio said before fainting.

* * *

 

"Man, playing football with Lynn and mud wrestling with Lana took 45 minutes," Lio said as he threw his clothes into the washing machine. "Celeste still has a little over 2 hours before the new episode. Hopefully, I'll be able to make it in time"

"Hopefully" Lucy said as she suddenly appeared behind Lio, causing him to jump in terror and remark "Really need to put a bell on you"

"It wouldn't work, trust me," Lucy said. "Can you help me with something?"

"Sure, Lucy, what do you need?" Lio asked.

"I'm trying to catch some bats in a nearby cave so I can take them in as pets," Lucy said. "I can't catch them no matter how hard I try, as they just keep flying away every time I get close. They won't even bite me so I can become a vampire, so will you help me?"

"Lucy, everyone knows that if want to become a vampire, you use an ancient Aztec stone mask," Lio said. "Secondly, wouldn't it be easier to try catching a few Conqueror Worms?"

"This is no time for Edgar Allan Poe references," Lucy said, causing Lio to frown. "I promise that this'll only take a few minutes, so can I count on you?"

"You can count on me," Lio told her. "Besides, I was looking to research exotic locations to help me with Tokyo Planet Outlaw, anyway"

Lucy and Lio arrived at the cave with flashlight in hand, looking to catch some bats. Lio had a butterfly net in hand while Lucy had a cage for whatever bats they caught. Lio told Lucy to stay outside so that he could check the cave out first and make sure there wasn't anything dangerous lurking in there. Upon seeing that everything was safe, Lio gestured for Lucy to come inside.

"Alright, let's find these bats," Lio said, somewhat excitedly as he took in the scenery. Almost immediately, a bat swooped down at the pair. Lio was prepared and tried to catch the bat with the net, but missed. "Elusive little creature. No wonder you had trouble catching it."

"There's more than one," Lucy said, pointing upwards. "Look up above you."

Lio immediately did so and saw a swarm of bats hanging upside. There had to have been at least a hundred bats all hanging overhead. "Holy guano," Lio exclaimed, eyes widened as he instinctively pushed Lucy behind him. "How on earth did we miss that?"

"How are we going to catch all of these?" Lucy whispered.

"We'd be lucky to catch one or two of these bats with being bitten a thousand times," Lio whispered back. "Nevertheless, I promised I'd help you catch a bat so I'll keep going. Just try to keep quiet and keep a hold of that cage, I have a feeling we're going to need it in a minute."

"Got it" Lucy replied.

Lio stood up on a couple of stalagmites to be able to reach the bats, being extremely careful to avoid disturbing the bats and possibly send them into a frenzy. Suddenly, Lio felt the sudden urge to sneeze at precisely the wrong time. "Ah, ah, aah" Lio came close to letting out a sneeze, only to fortunately stop himself just in time. "Phew," Lio whispered to himself. "That was a close one" He crept close to one of the bats and prepared his butterfly net. He slowly moved in to capture the avian creature when the urge to sneeze returned and this time he couldn't control himself. "ACHOO!"

Almost immediately, the bats awoke with a screech. Before the bats could make their move, Lio shouted at Lucy "RUN! I'll meet you outside!" Lucy obeyed and ran outside, leaving Lio behind to deal with the swarm of bats all flying in a frenzy. Lio fell off of the stalagmites he was standing atop and landed with a thud. Lio still had the net in his hand and used it to swat away bats that swooped down at him. Keeping his head low, Lio navigated his way out of the cave and in the process, actually managed to catch one of the bats in his net. With the goal accomplished, Lio made a mad sprint outside, coming out of it with a few minor scratches on his face.

"Are you alright?" Lucy asked him.

"I'm okay," Lio said before showing off the bat he had caught. "Open up the cage, I got you a bat" Lucy opened the cage and as Lio moved to put the bat inside, the bat in his hands bit him on his right arm. "Ow! The little bugger bit me"

Lucy immediately hugged Lio, saying "Thank you for your help, I owe you big time."

"It was my pleasure," Lio said as the two returned home, Lio debating whether he should get a rabies shot.

"Okay, maybe now I can get ready for Celeste" Lio said before bumping into his twin, Lincoln.

"Hey Lio" Lincoln greeted him.

"What's up, Linc" Lio greeted him.

"Say, can I ask a favor?" Lincoln asked him.

"Ask away," Lio said.

"Okay, so I kind of owe Clyde a favor and I could use your help with it" Lincoln said, causing Lio to ask "What kind of favor do you owe Clyde?". Lincoln replied "I promised I'd get him a lock of Lori's hair for his new locket, but you know how Lori is about anyone going into her room. Think you could give me a hand?"

"So you want me to risk getting clobbered so that you can fulfill your promise to Clyde without getting on Lori's bad side?" Lio asked, seriously questioning his actions in life. Lincoln nodded and Lio reluctantly said "Alright, I'll help you out. Just help keep Lori distracted, okay."

"Thanks Lio, you're a lifesaver" Lincoln said.

The twins devised a plan where Lio would sneak into Lori's room, find her hairbrush and retrieve a few locks of her hair while Lincoln kept lookout and would keep Lori from entering the room until Lio had made a safe exit. However, if Lincoln failed to provide a good enough distraction and Lori caught Lio, it was agreed that Lio would be on his own. Why Lio agreed to these terms, he had no idea, but it was too late to turn back now. Lio peeked into Lori and Leni's room before making his way inside. Thankfully, both girls were currently away, leaving Lio with (hopefully) plenty of time. He tiptoed inside and immediately began the search for Lori's hairbrush.

Lio made his way to Lori's side of the room, hoping that he could be in and out before anyone even knew he was there. The first place he looked was on Lori's bed, hoping that perhaps she had left it behind. No such luck and Lio moved on to look on Lori's bed stand. Aside from a lamp Lori's diary (which Lio wasn't touching with a 20 meter pole, he was already in deep enough by breaking into Lori's room in the first place, no need to go off and sign his own death warrant), there was nothing on the nightstand. That hairbrush had to be around here somewhere. Lio moved onto looking on Lori's dresser where he finally found what he was looking for. Lio questioned why he didn't just look there in the first place. Alright, now all that was left was retrieve the strands of hair and get out before Lori returned. He was just about to exit the room when he heard Lori coming up the stairs. Lio froze in place and hoped that Lincoln would provide a well enough distraction for him to escape or at the very least, sneak out without being seen by Lori.

"Oh Bobby, I'm so looking forward to our date tonight," Lori said, talking over the phone. "I literally can't wait to see what you have in store for me,"

"Hey Lori, how's it going?" Lincoln asked, standing in front of Lori to block her path.

"Get out of my way, dweeb," Lori said. "I've got a date I have to get ready for."

"How interesting," Lincoln said, stalling for time. "Say, where are you and Bobby going tonight? Perhaps Ronnie Anne and I can tag along, make it a double date"

"How about no," Lori replied. "Bobby and I really need some time away from our hectic families. Tonight is going to act as alone time for the two of us"

"Are you really going to go out with your hair looking like that?" Lincoln asked, causing Lori to freak and ask "What's wrong with my hair?" Lori then ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror, giving Lio the chance to exit her room unseen.

"Here's the hair you requested," Lio said as he handed the strands of Lori's hair to Lincoln.

"Thanks Lio, I owe you big time," Lincoln said.

"Don't mention it," Lio said, his life having flashed before his eyes while in Lori's room. "Just do me a favor and never ask me to do something so suicidal again."

"I've gotta get going, Clyde and I are going to catch a movie in a few minutes," Lincoln said, waving goodbye to his twin as he departed.

"Speaking of a few minutes, how much time to I have left until Celeste?" Lio asked himself, glancing down at his watch. "2 hours, sounds good. For a second I thought I was going to die before I got the chance to see the new episode. Now if I can just avoid doing anymore favors, I should be in the clear."

At just that moment, Lori emerged from the bathroom, looking for Lincoln. "Lincoln, there was literally nothing wrong with my hair, what were you talking about?" She asked, still sounding worried about the state of her hair. She didn't see Lincoln, but she did see Lio and said "Oh, Lio. Maybe you can help me out with something."

"I knew I should've kept my big mouth shut" Lio thought to himself before asking Lori "What can I help you with?"

"I have this big date with Bobby later on tonight and I need to make sure I look my absolute best," Lori told him. "I know your show comes on in a couple of hours, but I promise that this'll literally take you no time at all"

"I'd be happy to help you," Lio said despite a voice in his head telling him "You have no obligation to help her." Lio mentally replied to the voice by saying "I've already helped 5 of my siblings, it won't hurt to help another. Besides, it's the least we could do after invading her room."

"Thanks, Lio," Lori said before tossing Lio a French Maid's outfit. "Now put this on" Lio didn't question why this favor required him to wear the outfit, but instead went along with it. "First thing I need you to do is help me comb my hair. Even though there doesn't appear to be anything with it, you can never be too sure."

"Hmm, doesn't sound too difficult," Lio said, thinking to himself. "This may be the quickest favor I've done all afternoon". Once again, Lio had spoken too soon as a few minutes later, Lio found himself tasked with giving Lori a foot massage. Not too hard of a task, but it did chip into his getting ready for Celeste. Lio didn't think this had anything to do with a date, but then again he had no knowledge of love.

Shortly after massaging Lori's feet, he found himself retrieving her lemonade from the kitchen, all while wearing the French Maid's outfit. It was there that he ran into Luan. As his evening had consisted of doing favors, the first thing that came into his mind was "Lord DIO, please don't tell me she wants me to do something for her too."

"Hey Lio, tell me what you think of this joke," Luan said. "Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts"

Lio laughed, thankful for the joke as it gave him some much needed comic relief. "That was a pretty good one"

"Thanks," Luan said before noticing Lio's get up. "What're you doing?"

"Getting lemonade for Lori," Lio answered, causing Luan to ask "Why?" Lio answered "Because she asked me to."

"Doesn't your show come on in an hour and a half?" Luan reminded him.

Lio nodded his head and said "Yes, but I've been running around doing favors for everyone else"

"Why?" Luan asked.

"Because they really needed help with what they were doing," Lio answered. "And I didn't want to let them down, but at the same time if I keep doing things for everyone, I'm going to miss my show"

"Then why don't you just tell them no?" Luan questioned.

"I've thought about saying no, but again, I don't want to disappoint any of them" Lio told her. "Besides, it's not like it'll hurt me to help out my family and I do have Celeste set to DVR."

"Lio, you always do this" Luan said. "You always get excited for something, only to end up getting sidetracked doing favors for everyone else. You've got to learn how to stand up for yourself. It's alright to say "no" every once in a while. No one's going to hate you for it."

"But what about Leni?" Lio asked. "She's always doing something kind for others. If she can make it through okay, why can't I?"

"Leni is her own person" Luan pointed out. "And despite her kind heart, even she isn't a doormat. She knows when to say no and when to stand up for herself. You can't keep saying yes to everyone's requests"

"You know what, you're right," Lio said. "Starting from this moment forward, I'm going to stop doing what everyone asks me to do!"

"That's the spirit!" Luan said. "One more question though: Why are you wearing that outfit?"

Without missing a beat, Lio struck an extravagant pose and replied "Because I look absolutely fabulous in it!"

Luan laughed and said "I guess you could say that outfit was maid for you. Get it?"

Lio chuckled before saying "Alright, I'm going to say no to whoever asks me to do anything, starting now!"

"LIO! Where's my lemonade!" Lori called from upstairs.

"Coming, Lori!" Lio replied, running up the stairs with the lemonade in hand, causing Luan to facepalm. As he was running up the stairs, Lio noticed the strange looks the reader was giving him so he turned to them and said "Hey, you're just jealous that you wouldn't look half as good as I do in a French Maid's outfit."

"Okay, that last one doesn't count," Lio said to the reader. "NOW is when I start saying no"

"Hey, Lio!" Lola called out to him. "Wanna play Mafia Princess Tea Party with me?"

Lio took a deep breath and…

"I'm sure you're curious as to why I called you here for this discussion," Lola said, in character as the eponymous Mafia Princess. "Recently, one of your members killed one of our capos. I was under the impression that there was a five way truce between the families. And yet, you Passione gangsters killed a central capo belonging to the Loud Family? Care to explain yourself? The violation of such a vital truce is grounds for another gang war"

"Aw yes, I believe you are referring to the death of Franco Forelli, am I correct?" Lio asked, also in character. "Madam Loud, you must understand that Passione has strict rules for any gangsters who carry out their business on our turf. We are normally very lenient, but Don Giorno Giovanna made it quite clear what activity isn't allowed on our turf. Considering the fact that one of your Loud members was on our turf, yet eagerly disregarded a very simple rule, we also had the grounds to start another gang war, and yet…" Lio took a sip of his "tea". "We did not. For you see, Passione is a very merciful family and we do not want to see vast amounts of bloodshed. Therefore, we were content to simply take out the rule breaker and carry on with our operations."

"Interesting," Lola said, sipping her tea. "Tell me why I shouldn't convince my father to wage war against Passione?"

"Because," Lio said. "If Passione presented its case for the execution to the rest of the Families, we are confident that they would see it as justified. Secondly, for as powerful as the Loud Family is, Passione is far more powerful and has a far greater influence on the city as a whole. When your members are counterfeiting cash down by the docks, do remember that Passione is the one who pays off the police to turn a blind eye to your business. We control the airports that fly in the plates your machines use to print the phony cash. If you were to wage war, you would surely lose." Lio had a warm yet smug and passive aggressive smile on his face as if to rub it into Lola's face that her family couldn't retaliate.

"Does your Don, Mr. Giovanna, know of the hit you carried out?" Lola asked.

Lio shook his head "No and it is for your benefit that he doesn't know. While Mr. Giovanna is a very noble man who goes out of his way to protect the innocent, he is very ruthless to those who violate his cardinal rule." Lio took another sip of his tea.

"And that rule is?" Lola asked.

"Don't deal drugs, especially to minors," Lio revealed. "When Don Giorno Giovanna took over Passione, he made it his mission to curb the drug trade, which he saw as poisoning the community. Anyone who is caught dealing on Passione turf is as good as dead and unfortunately for your capo, he was caught dealing to children." Lio then coughed a couple of times.

"Are you alright?" Lola asked.

Lio nodded his head and said "Yes. It is a bit dusty in here, no?"

"Yes, quite" Lola agreed before returning to the business at hand. "Anyway, back to the matter at hand, was it necessary for Passione to take such immediate action? You're lucky I'm good at controlling my temper otherwise a few of your members would be sleeping with the fishes right now."

"Calm down, Madam Loud," Lio said. "The issue has been settled. There is no need for any further bloodshed." With that smug grin on his face, he added "Just be sure to rein your boys in and, if you must partake in the heinous drug trade, be sure that you don't do it on Passione territory. That seems like a fair offer, no?"

Lola sighed and said "I suppose so."

"Very well," Lio said as he rose from the table, only to suddenly collapse.

"By the way, dust wasn't the reason for your coughing fit earlier," Lola told him, causing Lio to question "Hmm?" Lola then explained "Before you even got here, I laced your tea with a potent poison. You should savor your last drink as best as you can."

"N-No, how could this happen to me?" Lio asked as he broke into a coughing fit once again.

"You're fond of quoting Edgar Allan Poe, so allow me to hit with a quote you're likely familiar with," Lola said. "No one strikes my family with impunity."

"Of course," Lio cursed himself. "How could I be so naïve? I forgot just who I was dealing with. The Loud Family may not be the most powerful, but bloody their nose and they come back at you twice as fierce."

"You're right about one thing: there's no need for any further bloodshed," Lola said. "I'll have my men make sure your death looks accidental so as to avoid retaliation from Mr. Giovanna. Now perish."

Lio went into his death throes before getting up and promising to play Mafia Princess Tea Party again with Lola soon. "Okay, I know I said I'd start saying no, but Mafia Princess Tea Party is a fun game," He said to the reader.

"Aaaugh! Come on, Luna, think, think, think!" Lio suddenly heard Luna say. Against his better judgment, he knocked on the door to Luna and Luan's room and found the former sitting with a notebook in hand, multiple wads of crumpled up paper at her feet.

"Everything okay, Luna?" Lio asked.

"Not even close, dude," Luna told him. "I've been trying to come up with a new song all afternoon, but nothing good is coming to me. Think you could maybe help me out"

"Yeah, I'll help you out," Lio said before he could catch himself. Too late to back out now. "What kind of song are you going for?"

"It's supposed to be something like a party song," Luna said. "Something that can get your blood pumping, that can get you hyped! It's supposed to have an exciting vibe to it, but I can't even think of the opening verse. This is driving me insane, man!"

"Hmm, play something on your guitar and I can help you out" Lio said. Luna, having nothing to lose and going nowhere on her own agreed and in the process, Lio quickly thought up the opening lyrics. "Sit back, baby kick back; get pumped, and then turn up the bass; This music'll make you jump, make you move from place to place…" Lio then shook his head and said "No, no, that won't work."

"Hold on a minute, dude, I think you might be onto something" Luna said. "Say that verse again." Lio did so and Luna picked up where he left off. "Lyrics cut just like a knife, get you ready for the night; tell me, are you ready to have the time of your life" "Blimey! I think I've finally got something."

"Awesome!" Lio said before he and Luna spent the next 20 minutes crafting lyrics to the song.

"Wow, I've finally finished" Luna said before heading to the garage to practice. "Thanks for your help, little bro!"

"It was my pleasure" Lio said before running into Leni. "Oh hey Leni, what's going on?"

"Nothing really," Leni said. "Say, can you help me out with something?"

"Just say no, just say no, just say no" Lio thought to himself before doing the exact opposite. "Yes I can. What do you need?"

"I'm going to a party tonight and I need your help picking a good outfit" Leni said. She then pulled out two dresses, one that was striped black and blue and the other being coloured red.

"Hmm, that's an easy one, you should go with the dress that" Lio started to say before Leni interrupted him.

"Hold on, I wasn't done" Leni said, pulling out 3 more dresses. One was a royal purple dress, the other striped hot pink and red, and the third being gold and purple. "Oh, and I have even more outfits in my room that you just have to check out!"

"Oh dear," Lio thought to himself. Lio found himself looking at over 23 different outfits before Leni asked him to make a decision. "Okay, if you want my opinion, I think you should go with outfit #7-'"

"Oh wait, nevermind" Leni said. "I think I'll just wear what I'm wearing now."

Lio's eye twitched as while the favours for his other siblings had taken up his time, at least those had a purpose. This, on the other hand, was a complete waste of his time. If it wasn't for how innocent she was, Lio would've assumed that Leni intentionally did this to mess with him. Whatever the case may be, he was finally done doing favors and could head to the TV to watch Celeste. Or so he thought. As he made his way downstairs, he caught his youngest sister, Lily crawling around on the floor.

"Hey Lily," Lio said as he picked her up. "Man, after doing favors for everyone I am exhausted. I'm been tackled, bitten by bats, tapped out and even C-Moon'd, but now I get to sit back and watch my favorite show. Thankfully, you don't need me to do anything, do you?"

Lily simply smiled at Lio and said "Poo Poo" before Lio smelled something foul. With a sigh, Lio said "I spoke too soon, didn't I?" Lily laughed and clapped her hands, prompting Lio to smile back at her and say "I can't get mad at you" before he moved in to change Lily's diaper. The task didn't take long and once he was finished, Lio put Lily back down and made his way downstairs to watch Celeste.

"Aw, finally… time to myself" Lio said to himself as he sat down on the couch.

"Um… Lio" Lincoln said as he and Luan sat down next to Lio.

"Hold on a minute, I've been waiting for this all day" Lio said.

"But Lio…" Luan tried to tell him.

Lio's eyes were glued to the TV however and would soon be filled with disappointment when he heard the words "And that concludes another exciting episode of Celeste. Tune in next week for another great episode." Lio's eyes darted towards the clock on the wall, where he saw that it read "7:31 PM"

"Bro, are you going to be alright?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm… um… going to need a moment" Lio said, prompting Lincoln and Luan to jump behind the couch, preparing for the eminent outburst. Lio took a deep breath and shouted "NOOOOOOOO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! Nuh-uh! Wryyyyyyy…" and face planted into the floor.

"Done?" Luan asked, peeking her head out from behind the couch.

"Not quite" Lio said, slowly raising his head up from the ground and back up to his feet. "NO! NO, NO, NO! NOOOOOOO! Whoa!" Lio then slipped and fell back onto the sofa, saying "Okay. I'm done." Upon regaining his composure, Lio lamented "I don't know where the time went. I had over four hours to get ready. Then I acted as a guinea pig for Lisa, acted as a practice dummy for Lynn, then I mud wrestled with Lana… oh, now I'm starting to see where all of my time went."

"Sounds like you got overwhelmed doing favors for everyone else" Lincoln said.

"I just couldn't help myself" Lio said. "I tried saying no, but I just didn't have it in me. Ugh, I'm such a doormat."

"No you're not" Lincoln said to his twin with Luan adding "You just have a tendency to put your family before yourself. That's pretty admirable"

"You think so?" Lio asked.

"Yeah" Lincoln said. "My advice for you would just be try not to let others manipulate you in the future"

"I'll try my hardest," Lio said before Lincoln and Luan smiled at him and asked "So, do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Yeah, I'll get right on th-, I mean no." Lio said, prompting laughter from the 3 siblings.

"So today, I learned that sometimes it's okay to say no" Lio said to the reader. "And while it felt good to do something for my siblings, I am kinda bummed I missed Celeste" With a smirk, Lio then said "But for the record, don't expect a repeat of tonight next week." Lio spent the rest of the night practicing how to say no in the mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The purpose of this chapter was to show Lio's interactions with his other siblings.


	3. Lio Loud Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis: Lucy starts modifying her & Lynn’s room after a new column in the school newspaper starts giving advice in gothic homemaking. When Lynn starts getting creeped out, she recruits the help of Lincoln & Clyde in investigating the column’s author and put a stop to it.

*After a hard day of practising and working out, Lynn is looking forward to kicking back and relaxing. As she walks into her and Lucy’s bedroom, one thing she doesn’t expect to see is the rabid crazed face of a gray wolf seemingly lunging at her with its mouth open, revealing razor sharp teeth with dark red stains. Lynn quickly recoils and jumps in horror, only to thankfully find that the wolf isn’t actually alive. Lynn cautiously reaches out to touch it, only for Lucy to suddenly snatch it out of her reach.*

Lucy: Please don’t touch Bela.

Lynn: Bela? Is that what you call this thing? *points at ‘Bela’*

Lucy: He’s my taxidermied werewolf. Or at least, he would be if I actually knew anything about taxidermy.

Lynn: So if this thing isn’t actually a stuffed werewolf, why does it look so lifelike?

Lucy: Believe it or not, it’s actually made mostly of paper mache with some fake fur and fake fangs made from a combination of polymorph plastic and acrylic nails for good measure. It took hours of work and I did my best to make it look realistic, but it was honestly worth it.

Lynn: Well it did give me a scare so I think you accomplished your goal of realism. But what possessed you to make a werewolf in the first place? I thought your thing was vampires and porcelain dolls, not werewolves.”

Lucy: Normally yes, but our school’s newspaper recently added a column known as “Gothic DIY”. It’s been giving tips on how to transform your home into the perfect gothic setting.

Lynn: That sounds a bit costly if I’m being honest and besides, couldn’t you wait until Halloween before you transformed our room into a creepshow?

Lucy: That’s the beauty of it. Not only are the writer’s methods & advice good for creating a sinister atmosphere all year long, they truly are do it yourself and cost next to nothing. I can finally create my perfect lair and I can do it with stuff you’d find in arts and craft class.

Lynn: Just make sure to keep it confined to your half of the room.

Lucy: Got it.

*Lynn’s stomach suddenly growls rather loudly* 

Lynn *jokingly*: I guess your werewolf isn’t the only one hungry. Guess I’ll head down to the kitchen and grab a snack. Try not to scare me half to death in the future. *turns to leave and head downstairs*

Lucy: Will do.

Lynn *slightly absentminded as she heads down the stairs*: Just when I thought Lucy couldn’t get any creepier. *scoffs* Gothic D.I.Y.? I wonder who’s the weird freaky kid writing that article. *In her absentmindedness, she accidentally bumps into Lio, causing the latter to drop his notepad.* Sorry, bro, I didn’t see you there.

Lio *picks up notepad*: It’s alright. *looks at Lynn* Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.

Lynn: I’m fine. Just that Lucy spooked me with this paper mache werewolf she created. Like, I thought her primary interest was in vampires.

Lio: I see. Speaking of vampires and werewolves, did you know that in some versions of the original vampire lore/mythos, a human bitten by a vampire became a werewolf rather than another vampire.

Lynn: Where did you learn that?  
Lio: As an aspiring mangaka, I research all forms of mythology to help me better craft a compelling story. That was simply one of the tidbits of trivia I found during my research. *looks at his watch* Oh, I hate to cut things short, but I’ve got to go. I promised Lana that I’d help her find this pack of rabbits a safe home.

Lana (from outside): Come on, Lio! Those rabbits aren’t going to help themselves. *Lio heads out the door*

Lynn *as she opens the fridge and grabs an apple*: Between him & Lucy, sometimes I don’t know which one is stranger.

*Three Days Later*

*Lynn is lying on the couch, watching TV with a few of the other sisters (Lola, Lisa, Luna and Lori). Lucy walks through the door, holding a large black pentagram star with a bulging, pale blue eye in the center. This catches the attention of the sisters.*

Lori: What you got there, Lucy?

Lucy: Oh this? This is a piece of wall art I made at school.

Lola: It looks waaaayyyyy freaky. 

Lisa: What inspired you to make something like that?

Lucy: It’s based on the latest edition of Gothic D.I.Y. It’s inspired by the Edgar Allan Poe story The Tell Tale Heart.

Luna: If it’s based off the Tell Tale Heart, why isn’t it, I dunno, a heart?

Lucy: Creating a heart would be too cliche. The article recommended that we instead make a model based off of the Old Man’s wicked eye. *looks at the star and gives a slight smile, taking pride in how well her work turned out* Honestly, I find this to be a lot more unnerving than a typical disembodied heart.

Lynn: You’re not actually going to hang that up in our room, are you?

Lucy: Don’t worry, I’ll keep it on my side of the room. You won’t even know it’s there. 

Lynn: Yeah, but just knowing that that eye will be hanging on the wall… *shivers* that thing is seriously going to kill my mood.

Lucy: I promise, you’ll hardly even know that it’s there.

Lisa: If it helps ease your concerns, I doubt that Lucy’s projects will have that much of an effect on your state of mind.

Lynn: As long as that’s her last creation involving this gothic homemaking stuff, I guess I’ll be alright.

Lucy: Well, about that… *Pulls out a mask. The mask is made out of clay and has an Aztec-inspired design and depicts a screaming face with its mouth agape in horror. There are red streaks of paint going down the eye sockets that serve to make the mask look like a crying child. The mask is scary enough that it makes the other sisters jump in terror.* 

Lola: Man, I’m glad I don’t have to sleep in your room.

Lori: Same, I don’t know how I’d be able to sleep with something like that watching over me.

Luna: Yeah, not going to lie, I don’t envy having to sleep in your room with that thing hanging overhead.

Lynn: *takes a deep breath* Alright. No problem. I’m not going to let this get to me.

*Cut to the middle of the night, where Lynn is trying, in vain, to get some sleep. She tosses and turns in bed and sits up to see Lucy’s fake werewolf seemingly staring at her. Due to the lack of lighting, it almost feels as if the werewolf is alive and licking its lips hungrily at Lynn, eyeing her as its next meal. This causes Lynn to nearly leap out of her bed in horror before she calms down*

Lynn: Calm down, Lynn. It’s not even real. 

*closes her eyes and tries to get some sleep. She fails and when she opens her eyes, she sees Aztec-esque mask on Lucy’s side of the room hanging on the wall. In Lynn’s sleepless state, she swears that she can almost hear it screaming in pain. Lynn covers her ears so that she doesn’t have to hear it scream. When the ‘screaming’ dies down, Lynn lets go and tries sleeping again. This time, however, she sees the Pentagram Eye staring at her. Out of all of Lucy’s creations, this one is the creepiest to Lynn as even though it clearly is just an inanimate object, the pale blue eye seemingly watches her obsessively. When Lynn looks directly at it, it feels as if the eye is staring into her soul.*

Lynn: *groans* This is going to be a long night.

*The Next Morning, Lincoln walks into the kitchen to see a groggy (and grumpy) Lynn drinking a cup of coffee. She has bags under her eyes and her hair is in slight disarray*

 

Lincoln: Good morning, Lynn!

 

Lynn (muttering under her breath): What’s so good about it?

Lincoln *noticing that something is off*: What’s wrong with you?

Lynn (defensively): Me!? What’s wrong with you!? You just come in here and say *mimics Lincoln* “Good morning, Lynn” as if everything is peachy and cheerful, and then you ask what’s wrong with me!?

Lincoln: *looks at Lynn as if to say “WTF”*

Lynn: *sighs* Sorry. I didn’t exactly get a good night’s sleep last night.

Lincoln: Why is that?

Lynn: Your school’s newspaper has this new gothic decor column and Lucy’s been taking their advice. Of course, that means she’s been creating all these creepy crafts. I wouldn’t mind so much if she didn’t hang them up in our room, creeping me out to the point I can’t sleep.

Lincoln: Gothic decor? You mean the Gothic D.I.Y. section.

Lynn: So you know about this? Do you know who writes it?

Lincoln: To answer your first question: yes. It’s a relatively new addition to our school’s newspaper and only started about a month and a half ago. To answer your second question: yes and no. The author of the article goes by the pseudonym Solido Naso, but nobody knows who they are. Why do you wanna know who’s writing it?

Lynn: Because, I want to find whoever’s writing the article and make them stop. I love Lucy, but if she keeps up with this gothic homemaking stuff, I feel like I’m going to lose it.

Lincoln: So you’re just going to threaten the author to stop. I’m not sure that’ll work out for you.  
Lynn: Maybe not for me, but perhaps you can convince them to stop on my behalf.

Lincoln: I’m not sure I follow.

Lynn: You can find out who this Solido Naso guy is and ask them not stop. *Lincoln opens his mouth to object, but Lynn quickly adds* Plus, this could be a chance for Ace Savvy & One Eyed Jack to solve another mystery. You know, put their detective skills to the test. *Lincoln’s eyes light up at the chance to solve another case.*

Lincoln: Well, when you put it like that, I’d be happy to find this mystery author and persuade him to end his article for you. *Lynn smirks at having manipulated Lynn into helping her.*

*The scene cuts to the Elementary school, where Lincoln & Clyde are walking to the editing room for the school’s journalism club.*

Lincoln:Thanks for agreeing to help.

Clyde: Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t pass up on an opportunity like this in a million years. All of the goths are wondering who this Solido person really is. If we find out who they are, not only will we further our reputations as ace detectives, but we may just be able to score some cool points from the goths.

Lincoln: All the more incentive we need to crack this case. And what better place to start than here, the editing room? If we’re lucky, we may even be able to catch Naso in the act.

*The boys open the door to the editing room, where they are immediately greeted by a teacher with auburn hair, wearing a white shirt and black pants.*

Teacher: Hello boys, how can I help you? Are you here to apply for the school’s journalism club?

Clyde: Hello, Mrs. Reilly Afraid not, we’re actually here to investigate one of your writers.

Mrs. Reilly: Which one?

Lincoln: Solido Naso, the writer of Gothic D.I.Y. Could you tell us who they are?

Mrs. Reilly *shakes her head*: I wish I could, but whoever they are, they have quite the obsession with maintaining their anonymity. Signing up for the club is easy enough, you can either apply in person or you write your name on the sign up sheet. No matter which method you choose, you have to submit a sample story for approval before you’re officially allowed to be a member. The morning after Solido signed up, we found their story sitting on the table. No one saw who wrote the story or who left it behind.

Lincoln: Well, that’s just great. Given the circumstances, there’s no evidence that Solido Naso even exists.

Mrs. Reilly: Actually, we do have one piece of proof. We still have Solido’s signature from when they signed up. *pulls out a scrap of paper with the name “Solido Naso” handwritten on it and hands it to Lincoln & Clyde.*

Clyde: Looks like we’ve got our first lead. It’s not much, but at least it proves we’re not chasing a ghost.

Lincoln: Is it just me or does the handwriting look familiar?

Clyde: What do you mean?

Lincoln: It’s just that, I swear I’ve seen this style of handwriting before. 

Clyde: When is the next edition of the paper supposed to come out?

Mrs. Reilly: This Friday. We release our paper biweekly every Tuesday and Friday. We always edit it together on the day prior to the release date. Meaning our Tuesday releases are completed on Monday and our Friday releases are finished on Thursday. All stories must be submitted by those days or they get omitted until the next edition.

Lincoln:*looks at the teacher* You say you’ve never seen Solido’s face? How do they submit their column to the paper?

Mrs. Reilly: Usually, the day before we’re supposed to edit the paper together, we find Solido’s addition already uploaded to the main computer. *points to the desk at the front of the room with a computer on it.* While students can complete their stories independently, they must be uploaded to the main computer in order to be added. Fortunately, every story that’s published is timestamped as to when they were uploaded to the computer so we can keep track of every contributor.

Clyde: Is there a set time when Solido submits their stories?

Mrs. Reilly: As a matter of fact, there is. Checking the timestamps, we find that Naso typically uploads their stories between 1 & 2 PM. 

Lincoln: Hmm, today is Wednesday and given what you’ve told us about them uploading the day before final editing, that means it’s likely that they’ll be submitting the latest edition of Gothic D.I.Y. today. And since it’s only 10:15 right now, that means we’ve got a couple hours until Naso comes to upload.

Clyde: Sounds like a stakeout is in order. What do you say, Ace?

Lincoln: Sounds like the perfect idea if we wanna catch Naso in the act. *turns to the teacher* Do you think that you can help us out?

Mrs. Reilly: I’d be delighted to. Believe it or not, I’m just as interested in finding out Solido’s identity as you are. Their column is incredibly popular, even with the non goths and part of the appeal is the mystery surrounding their identity. If you can find out who they actually are, it would likely be the biggest story ever published in the paper.

Lincoln: Well, we promise you we’ll get you the identity of Solido Naso. Ace Savvy & One Eyed Jack always solve their case.

Mrs. Reilly: I’ll keep the door locked until just before 1 so that you can come back here and wait for them to show up. I’ll write a note to your teachers excusing your absence. Good luck.

*scene cuts to later that day at 1PM (a clock on the wall shows the time as 1:04 PM to be exact), where Lincoln & Clyde are sitting inside the editing room, waiting hidden in the room’s closet.*

Lincoln *whispering*: Okay, this should be simple enough. All we have to do is stay here and wait until we see someone go into the room. After that, we can confront them and ask them to stop writing the column under the threat of revealing their identity.

Clyde *whispering*: But, aren’t we going to unveil their identity anyway? Or at least, to Mrs. Reilly?

Lincoln *shaking his head*: If they agree to stop writing the column, we can pretend that we’re still investigating the case until the end of the year. At the very least, we could convince Mrs. Reilly that keeping Solido Naso’s identity a secret would generate more interest in the paper.

Clyde: How do we know that Mrs. Reilly herself isn’t Solido Naso? What if she did it just to generate interest in the school paper?

Lincoln: I doubt it. I caught a glimpse of her handwriting and it didn’t match Solido’s at all. Of course, it’s too early to rule her out completely, but I’d be surprised if that turned out to be the case.

Clyde: Well, we’ve got an hour to find out.

*A time lapse goes by, showing Lincoln & Clyde staying hidden in the closet, peeking out as they wait for the mysterious Solido Naso to show up. As time ticks by, the boys become very bored just sitting and waiting. Eventually, they hear the door open and peek their heads out of the closet, hoping to see the anonymous writer. Instead, they see Mrs. Reilly returning.*

Mrs. Reilly: Hello boys! Any luck catching Naso?

Lincoln: No. *looks at his watch* It’s 2:30 already? We’ve been here this whole time and no one’s come in here.

Mrs. Reilly: That’s odd. Normally they’ll have uploaded their story by now. *walks over to computer and checks it.* No way. 

Clyde: What?

Mrs. Reilly: The next edition of Gothic homemaking, it’s right here, plain as day. They’ve already submitted their story! And the timestamp says it was uploaded at 1:02 PM today!

Lincoln: But that’s impossible! We’ve been here the entire time and we didn’t see or hear anyone enter or leave. We would’ve caught them red handed! There’s no way they could’ve uploaded their story without us knowing.

Clyde: Unless they got in, uploaded the story and left before we got here.

Mrs. Reilly: I guess Solido takes their anonymity very seriously if they’re going to these lengths to keep their identity a secret.

Lincoln: I guess this stakeout was a bust, but I’m not ready to give up just yet.

*The scene transitions to the Loud House*

Lynn: So, any luck finding who’s writing that article?

Lincoln: Well, we’ve got their signature and we know when they submit their story. Other than that we know nothing. Clyde & I tried setting up a stakeout to catch them in the act, but they somehow still got away from us. Also, Lucy may be bringing home something new on Friday; that’s when the next edition of Gothic DIY comes out.

Lynn: Darn it! I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you two geeks to do this.

Lincoln: Don’t worry, I promise you that this’ll be the last Gothic Homemaking published.

Leni *walking into the room*: What’re you guys talking about?

Lynn: Stinkcoln & Clyde are supposed to be finding out who’s writing this goth decorating article at their school, but they messed up and now Lucy’s probably going to bring home some new freaky sculpture.

Leni: You mean like that freaky skeleton figurine she brought home today?

Lynn: Great. The new edition hasn’t even come out yet and she’s already bringing home something weird. I can already tell that this is going to be a sleepless night.

Lincoln: Like I said: Don’t worry. Clyde & I are going to find Solido Naso and get them to stop. We promise.

Leni: Solido Naso? Isn’t that an Italian name or something? *Both Lincoln & Lynn look at Leni, amazed that she said something smart*

Lynn: Leni, how do you know that?

Leni: So, do you remember that Chaz guy I’ve been talking about? Well, he has a cousin stationed in Italy and he wants to visit her so we’ve been learning Italian together. I don’t know what it means, but I do know that “Solido Naso” is Italian. *Both Lincoln & Lynn are stunned silent for a second.*

Lincoln: Looks like Clyde & I just got our next lead. This narrows down our search considerably.

Lynn: How so?

Lincoln: There’s a cliq at our school who act like your typical mafia. They have the stereotypical accent, dress like greasers, and use random Italian words in their speech even though they’re not actually Italian. Given this information, it’s possible that Solido Naso is a member of this group. It also explains why they’d be obsessed with keeping their identity a secret. None of the mobsters would wanna be outed as a secret goth. I’m positive we’ve solved the case now.

Lio *coming out of the kitchen with two apples in his hand*: Hey guys, what’re you talking about?

Lincoln: I think we may have just cracked the case regarding Solido Naso’s identity.

Lio: Oh. Nice!

Clyde: Why do you have two apples in your hand?

Lio: Oh, this? I didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today so I’m pretty hungry. Anyway, good luck in your search. *leaves*

*Scene cuts the elementary school’s basement, where a group of four are hanging out, talking amongst themselves. True to Lincoln’s description, they have thick (obviously) fake Italian accents and are all dressed like movie mobsters. One of them is average size with black hair, another has brown hair, the third has red hair and the fourth is a large boy with black hair..*

Kid #1 (black hair): So then, I told the bambino to hand over his lunch money.

Kid #2 (brunette): What happened next, Anthony?

Kid #3 (redhead): Yeah Boss, I gotta know how it ends.

Anthony: That’s when the teacher comes over and interrupts me. So I turn to the teacher and say- *pauses in his story when Lincoln & Clyde enter the basement* Hey, who are these two mammoni? Mickey, see what they want, will ya?

Mickey (big guy): You two best scram now otherwise you & the floor are going to be getting real intimate. Capisce?

Clyde: We’ll be outta your hair in a minute, we just wanna ask a few questions.

Anthony: Well you don’t look like the law so that’s bought you a minute now explain why you’re here.

Lincoln: We’re looking for Solido Naso and our search has led us here.

Anthony: Solido Naso?! That goth creep! Alright, you’ve bought yourself some more time. If I could get my hands on that Naso guy, why I’d… *grunts angrily* The nerve of that guy, making a mockery out of us Italians!

Kid #2: But boss, we aren’t actually Italian. *Anthony slaps him on the back of the head*

Anthony: Shut up, you mook! *addresses Lincoln & Clyde* Back to you two, you say your search for Solido has led you here? For your sake, I hope you’re not saying what I think you’re saying.

Lincoln: We have reason to believe that Solido Naso is amongst your ranks. After all, you four are the only ones in the school who speak Italian.

Anthony: I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Mickey, take care of these clowns.

Clyde *shaking in fear as Mickey approaches them while pounding his fist*: Um… Lincoln?

Lincoln *thinking quick*: Wait! There’s no need to beat us up. We’re on your side. We’re trying to prove your innocence. All we need are you signatures to confirm you’re not the real Solido Naso. After all, think about what’ll happen if the rest of the school finds out Solido is an Italian name. They’ll instantly think it’s one of you guys. We’re trying to prove that’s not the case.

Anthony: *thinks about it for a second before calling off Mickey* Let em’ go, Mickey. *Lincoln & Clyde breathe a sigh of relief* Alright, you’ve bought yourself another two minutes. We’ll give you our signatures, but I swear you better not be pulling any funny business.

Clyde *handing the four boys a piece of paper*: Just sign your names right here and we’ll be on our way. *The four “mobsters” each write their signature on the paper and give it back to Lincoln to look over.* Well, Ace, what does it look like?

Lincoln: None of them are a match. Their handwriting doesn’t look anything like Solido’s. Safe to say, these aren’t the guys we’re looking for,

Kid #3: Molto bene! What did we tell ya? There’s no way any of us would be caught dead doing that weird goth stuff!

Anthony: Now that you boys have got the answer to your question, why don’t you say “Arrivederci” and get out of here?

*Transition to the Loud House, where Lynn is watching TV in the living room when Lincoln & Clyde enter the house, looking dejected and disappointed. Lynn can instantly tell that their latest attempt at solving the mystery has failed.*

Lynn: Let me guess, you still don’t know who Naso is, do you?

Lincoln: I just don’t get it! It doesn’t make any sense! Other than a signature, we have no sign that they’re even real!

Clyde: I still think it’s Mrs. Reilly. Think about it: she’s the only one with the keys to the editing room, meaning she can access it at any time. She could’ve uploaded the story before we staked out the room and played dumb. Not to mention that she has all the motive: boost the paper’s readership by way of introducing a mysterious character who no one knows exist and then make a story out of the identity of this unknown writer. And now that I think about it: she seemed a bit too eager to help us solve the case. That’s because she knows we’ll never find out who Solido Naso is. She can keep the mystery going for as long as she wants to get students to keep reading.

Lincoln: You know, now that I think about it, even the signature could’ve been a false piece of evidence meant to throw us off her trail. After all, why would she keep the random signature of some student she doesn’t know? *looks at the signature again* However, I still can’t shake the feeling that I’ve seen this handwriting somewhere before.

Lynn: We can worry about how this Mrs. Reilly faked the signature later. Right now, I’m going to go give her a piece of my mind and get her to shut down this goth article! *storms out the door and heads for the Elementary school with Lincoln & Clyde following behind her.*

*Transition back to the Editing room, where Mrs. Reilly is sitting at the computer when Lynn suddenly kicks in the door.*

Mrs. Reilly: Goodness gracious, what’s going on!?

Lynn: Alright, Reilly, I’m just going to make this real simple. We figured out your little game!

Reilly: What are you talking about?

Lincoln: Don’t play dumb. We know that you’re the one who’s actually behind the Solido Naso article!

Reilly: What Earth could give you such a ridiculous idea?

Clyde: You’re the only one with around the clock access to the main editing computer, meaning you could’ve uploaded the story at any time.

Lincoln: You also have the most to gain from the mystery of Naso’s identity. All of the goths are wondering who they are and buzz is spreading to the other student groups as well. You can capitalize off the interest in all of this and boost readership.

Mrs. Reilly: Look, I know this looks suspicious but…

Lynn: Listen, I don’t care what your reasonings are for posing as a made up student; I just want you to stop putting out the gothic homemaking section!

Mrs. Reilly: But-

Lynn: My little sister has been making these freaky figurines that’ve been keeping me from sleeping! If she makes one more sculpture I’m going to-

Mrs. Reilly: But-

Lynn: No buts! Either cancel the column or-

Mrs. Reilly: Just let me explain! *Lynn becomes quiet and Reilly explains* I know that this all looks suspicious, but I am not Solido Naso.

Lynn: Yeah right! If you’re not, then who is?

Reilly: I don’t know. Really, I don’t. As I told these two gentlemen, I’m just as interested in finding out who they are as you are. I’ve been waiting for two weeks now to see if they slip up and leave behind another clue, but they’re really efficient when it comes to not leaving a trace.

Clyde: How do we know we can trust you?

Lynn: We can’t! She’s lying! Can’t you see that?

Lincoln: I thought something like this might come up so I brought these. *Pulls out Lisa’s lie detecting glasses*

Lynn: I thought we destroyed those.

Lincoln: We did, but Lisa made a second pair. Something about selling them to the CIA. *puts on the glasses and asks Mrs. Reilly* Are you Solido Naso?

Reilly: No, I am not. *The glasses determine that she is telling the truth.*

Clyde: Do you know the true identity of Solido Naso?

Reilly: No. *The glasses determine that she is telling the truth.*

Lynn: Great, just great. I thought we had finally found them, it turns out to be another dead end.

Lincoln: What are we going to do now?

Lynn: *sighs* Come on, let’s go home.

*Scene cuts back to the Loud House, where Lynn & Lincoln sit disappointed that they haven’t been able to crack the case.*

Luan *noticing their downer expressions*: What’s wrong with you two? Why the long faces?

Lynn: We still haven’t been able to find out who the writer of the Gothic D.I.Y. column is.

Lincoln: All we’ve got is their name and a signature, but aside from that we know nothing about them. We’ve followed every lead and all of them have turned out to be a dead end. Clyde & I even set up a stakeout to catch them in the act, but they still somehow managed to evade us.

Luan: Well, what’s the name of the author?

Lynn: Solido Naso. *Luan gives Lincoln & Lynn a strange look before she starts giggling, causing Lynn to get angry* What’s so funny?

Luan: I think I may have just solved your mystery.

Lincoln: Explain.

Luan: The name “Solido Naso” is the alias of the main antagonist of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind.

Lincoln *as a lightbulb goes off in his head*: There’s only one person I know who loves gothic horror and JoJo enough to make his alias a reference to it…

Lynn & Lincoln (simultaneously as they reach the same conclusion): Lio! *start running upstairs to Lincoln & Lio’s room*

Lynn: I don’t know how I didn’t see it sooner, the clues were right in front of us. From the moment he mentioned that trivia about werewolves and vampires, I should’ve suspected him. Also, when I bumped into him and made him drop his notepad, I should’ve paid more attention to it. At the time, I just assumed he was writing his silly little comics in it. I didn’t think he was writing for the school newspaper.

Lincoln: It also explains why Solido’s signature looked familiar to me. How could I not recognize my own twin’s handwriting? And then the other day when Lio said that he didn’t get a chance to eat lunch; well of course he didn’t because he was busy uploading his column to the editing room computer before Clyde & I got the chance to scope out the room.

Lynn: Now that I think about it, I don’t recall either of us mentioning to him who “Solido Naso” was or why we were looking for them in the first place. Him wishing us luck rather than inquiring about who we were talking about should’ve been another giveaway. *The two open the door to Lincoln & Lio’s room, startling Lio, who is writing in his notepad. Lynn then points aggressively at Lio* You!

Lio: Whoa! What’s all this about?

Lynn: Drop the act! We know you’re the one behind the Gothic D.I.Y. column!

Lio: What are you talking about?

Lincoln *picking up Lio’s notepad and comparing the writing in it to Solido’s signature*: Yep. There’s no mistaking it. You’re definitely Solido Naso. And from the looks of it, you’re already writing your next story.

Lio *sighs as he admits to being discovered*: I suppose that if I was going to be found out, it’s better that I was found out by my own family than some random stranger. How did you figure it out?

Lincoln: Your close sibling bond with Luan proved to be your undoing as she’s the one who pointed that you were using a JoJo reference as your pseudonym. That was the biggest clue. Also, the fact that you had to physically sign up means you left behind a sample of your handwriting. If it wasn’t for that little tidbit of information, we might have never found you out.

Lynn: Now let’s cut to the chase: I want you to stop writing that column now.

Lio: Yeah, about that, I can’t exactly do that.

Lynn: Oh, you will stop, otherwise I’ll tell your whole school who you are and you’ll have to deal with being the talk of the classroom.

Lio: Listen, I don’t know what your issue with the article is, but I’m doing it for a very important reason. I can’t just stop it right now.

Lynn: My issue with the article is that I haven’t been able to get a good sleep because Lucy’s been following your decorating advice and making all these freaky things! I’m telling you to cut it out now or else I’ll…

Lio: Lucy’s the reason I’ve been writing the Gothic D.I.Y. series in the first place.

Lincoln: What do you mean by that?

Lio: Allow me to elucidate ya. It all started about two months ago… *scene segues into a flashback.*

Flashback: 

*Lio is coming back from the manga store when he finds Lucy lying outside on the ground.*

Lio: Lucy? What’s wrong? Why are you out here lying on the ground?

Lucy:... Can I ask you a question?

Lio: Sure. What’s on your mind?

Lucy: Do you think I’m… weird, for being into the occult?

Lio: Not at all, why do you ask?

Lucy: It’s just that the school’s newspaper ran an article on the weirdest groups in the school and goths came in at number one. The paper has all kinds of articles that appeal to every group from the athletes to the nerds to even the mafia wannabes. All except for the goths. Apparently we’re too weird and depressing to be the focus of anything. Sigh. Maybe they’re right. Maybe we are just a bunch of creepy freaks. *gets up and heads inside the house*

Lio (narrating over the rest of the flashback): That gave me an idea that I could do something to make Lucy feel more accepted. So early one morning I went to the school’s journalism club and signed up for the paper. Let me tell you, it was not easy doing that without being seen. Immediately after that, I went to the library to work on my first story and submitted it the next day. Soon after I became an official member of the club, Gothic D.I.Y. became more popular than I anticipated and the mystery surrounding my identity became its own story. Safe to say my initial mission was accomplished.

Lincoln: How did you come up with the idea of gothic decor?

Lio: Lincoln, my favorite musician is Aurelio Voltaire.

Lincoln: Oh, yeah, that’s right.

Lynn: But why did you sign up under a fake name? And why go through all the trouble to remain anonymous?

Lio: Because… you know I hate bringing attention of any type to myself. Not to mention my shyness around others. I just wouldn’t be able to handle the attention if my secret got out without suffering a panic attack. My goal was to make Lucy not feel like a freak, not to gain recognition. *sighs as he turns to Lynn* For that reason, I’m going to continue with the article. If it means that the cat will be let out of the proverbial bag, then so be it.

Lucy: That won’t be necessary *Lincoln, Lynn, and Lio all jump in fright upon being surprised by Lucy.*

Lynn: Okay, seriously! How do you do that?

Lucy *ignoring Lynn as she addresses Lio*: The fact you would go to such lengths to help make me feel normal, even if it meant risking getting exposed, is one of the kindest things anyone has done for me. *hugs Lio and she even cracks a (very small) smile* Thank you for that. *Lucy then addresses Lynn* Sorry that I was freaking you out with all the things I was creating. I didn’t think that they’d creep you out so much. I can get rid of it if you want to.

Lynn: You don’t have to do that. Maybe I overreacted to everything. If that’s what makes you feel normal then go ahead, just maybe don’t put them in places where it looks like they’re watching me.

Lucy: Deal. *She & Lynn hug*

Lincoln: And once again, another case closed thanks to the wonderful deduction skills of Ace Savvy.

Lio *smirking*: You literally said you wouldn’t have been able to solve the mystery if it wasn’t for Luan.

Lincoln *with a smirk of his own*: Careful, Lio. If I were you, I wouldn’t taunt one of the three people capable of revealing your secret. *Lio gulps and Lincoln walks off*

Lio: (beat) Wait a second, Linc! You wouldn’t actually sell out your own brother like that, would you? *chases after him,*

Lincoln: I don’t know, maybe if you buy me tickets to the upcoming Ace Savvy movie, I’ll keep quiet.

Lynn: You know, Luc, as long as our brothers are around, I don’t think you have to worry about being a freak.

Lucy: I think you’re right.

*Lucy & Lynn share a laugh as the episode irises out*

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got this idea for a chapter while talking to a friend on Discord and decided to write it as if it were an actual script to an episode.


End file.
